


After the War

by Ambrose_Ethri



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Horde Prime - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, One Shot, PTSD, Panic Attack, Post Finale, Salineas, Supportive Sea Hawk, Wholesome, bad memories, chipped mermista, healthy relationship, love and support, mermista whump, mermista x sea hawk, sea hawk whump, seamista - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:00:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25795528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrose_Ethri/pseuds/Ambrose_Ethri
Summary: Although Horde Prime has been defeated, Mermista finds herself struggling with night terrors and has a panic attack. No matter how hard she tries, she can't forget the terrifying memories of being chipped. It's a good thing Sea Hawk is there to help his beloved when she needs it most.
Relationships: Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	After the War

It was a dismal, crepuscular evening, the grey clouds above Salineas loomed darkly with an impending threat of rain, and Mermista couldn't fall asleep for the life of her. Her eyes were trained on the large window in the bedroom of her palace. The notion of Horde Prime returning to Etheria refused to leave her thoughts, despite the war having been won well over a year and a half earlier. It all still made her sick to think about. On the back of her neck, the scar from where she'd been chipped tingled unpleasantly with the memory of that time. 

A year and a half. The calendar on her wall didn't lie, so why did she feel disbelief clawing inside her stomach, tearing through her throat, aching to let loose in a shriek? Mermista found it felt as though it had happened only yesterday. Every moment from that atrocious time had been burned graphically into her mind. Each time she closed her eyes, flashes of green shot across her vision, followed by too many distressing nonentities to handle on her own.

It was often only the mitigations of Sea Hawk's gentle whispers as he held her delicatley that worked to soothe her. In those moments, he treated her like a porcelain treasure, easy to shatter and far too precious to place anywhere except within the softest embrace. Since the war, he had taken to sleeping beside her each night. His company was a welcome presence when he settled down from the saccharine side he boasted during the day, and though she had yet to concede to it out loud, she knew she needed him.

Rain began to fall in Salineas. When Mermista heard the first patter of tiny droplets against the stainless glass window, she shot up in bed with a gasp. Clutching her blankets to her chest with a white knuckled grasp, she looked around wildly, searching for the sound of the noise in a panic.

Would there be an attack? 

What was happening? 

Had Horde Prime sent people to break through her window?

Was she about to lose control again? She couldn't lose control. She had sworn never to hurt anyone else again, especially not someone she loved-

"Mermista?" Beside her, Sea Hawk stirred beneath the covers. Groggily, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "It's the middle of the night, wh..."

He trailed off at the sight of her looking as petrified as she was. Slowly, so not to startle her further, he sat up in bed and linked his fingers with her own. This had become a routine.

Mermista looked down at his hand, flinching only slightly as Sea Hawk leaned himself against her. She bit her lip, wishing for her thoughts to calm down. If she closed her eyes for too long, she would see it again. The destruction she had caused. All the innocent people she had hurt. If she drowned out the sounds around her, she could swear there was a ringing in her ears that resounded wretchedly like the screams of the innocent.

"Mermista," Sea Hawk murmured. "You're safe. You're here with me, we're here together. Isn't that great?" He flashed her an earnest smile. It reached his eyes, which shone with love for her. 

"No. It's not great. It's terrible. It's terrible you're here. You should go," Mermista exhaled shakily. 

"Oh, you don't mean that..."

"I do," Mermista hissed. "Get out. Go! Before I hurt you like I hurt everyone else!"

Sea Hawk held her hand a little tighter. She squeezed his hand back so fiercely he had to bite down a whine.

"I hurt so many people, I had no control. What if I lose control again? I close my eyes and I'm back there, I'm back there fighting, watching. It wasn't me. It wasn't. I swear. I never wanted to hurt..." Mermista's harsh breathing turned to aching sobs. She shook her head wildly as she cried, shutting her eyes again. There was a flash of green behind her eyelids. A shriek rang in her ears. The rain outside sounded torrential to her now despite still being the same light patter as it had been before. Everything was overwhelming. She couldn't breathe. She was alone amidst the wailing and the chilling green light. Nothing was right. She shouldn't be back in the war. Why was she back in the war?

"Mermista," the soothing voice of Sea Hawk cut through her thoughts. "Can you open your eyes for me? Look at me if you're able to, please? I'm right here."

Mermista felt a physical warmth press against her cheek. She guardedly opened her eyes.

There was Sea Hawk. He was smiling so kindly. He didn't look to be in distress. There was no war, not right now. 

It began to make sense to her again. The flashbacks weren't real. She was in her room with Sea Hawk, and everything was fine. He kept saying it was, and she felt as though she ought to believe him. The warmth she felt against her cheek was Sea Hawk's hand, she realized. He had her face cradled in his hand, his other hand still squeezing hers as she held onto it for dear life.

"Sea Hawk," she whispered.

By some miracle, his eyes filled with even more affection than before. He nodded enthusiastically, positively beaming now. "Yes, it's me. I'm right here for you. Do you know where you are?"

"I, um," Mermista looked around. Everything seemed out of focus for a moment. She blinked until her surroundings became coherent. "I'm in my bedroom," she said slowly.

"Wonderful, yes. We’re in your bedroom. It's raining a bit, but we're inside so it's fine," Sea Hawk soothed. "You're safe in bed. Very safe, because you have the marvelous Sea Hawk himself here to protect you!"

A bemused smile faintly curved the corners of Mermista's lips. "If you're the one protecting me, I'm doomed," she teased.

Sea Hawk laughed. 

Although her eyes were no longer wild with terror, her shoulders were tense. Her body trembled. The smile that had graced her lips for a second disappeared as if it had never been there. Sea Hawk’s expression dampened. Sobering, he pulled her close, playing with the end of her loose braid. 

“I shouldn’t be getting these nightmares,” Mermista mumbled.

“You shouldn’t? What makes you say that? I think it’s perfectly natural, given everything that happened,” Sea Hawk said. 

“None of the others get them,” Mermista huffed. “No one but me.”

Sea Hawk raised a brow. “They don't? How do you know?"

“Because they don’t tell me they have nightmares!” Mermista exclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, do you tell them about your nightmares?” Sea Hawk asked slowly.

Mermista faltered. She thought about it, and as she thought it through, it suddenly struck her that she hadn’t ever told anyone about her nightmares except for Sea Hawk.

“No,” Mermista found herself growing defensive. “I haven’t told any of them, but for good reason. They're all busy."

"All of them?" Sea Hawk sounded skeptical. "I'm sure they're not too busy for you."

Mermista cut him off with a sharp huff. "But they are. I mean, I'm sure they must be. And even if they weren't, I doubt they're having nightmares. I doubt anyone is at all. No one needs to concern themselves with me. Besides, they wouldn't exactly be pleased to have a weakling as part of the alliance. Nightmares? Please. That's pathetic by anyone's standards, especially by mine. I'll get over it." Her hands curled into fists. "I will."

"You don't have to do it alone," Sea Hawk held her closer.

"Ugh," she shrugged him away, ignoring how listlessly his arms fell to his sides. "Yes, I do."

"But I'm right here! I'm here for you. Mermista, I love you," Sea Hawk articulated as best as he could, trying to get her to understand that he was very much there to support her because he cared.

"You don't even, like, get it. Not really. You can't possibly get it!" Mermista snapped.

Sea Hawk shrunk in on himself, hating how she snapped despite how used to it he was. "But-"

"I bet I'm the only one getting these stupid nightmares. I can't believe it. Maybe I should tell the other Princesses, just so they'd be able to kick me out of the alliance for being weak. I mean, c'mon. The war was ages ago. I should be over it by now. Why am I not over it by now!?"

Sea Hawk waited until she had calmed. Or, rather, until she wasn't shaking. Because as she had spoken, tremors of emotion shuddered through her body. He wished she wouldn't be so angry at herself. Seeing her this distraught hurt even the remotest parts of his heart more than anything else in the world.

After a while, Mermista stopped shaking. She looked forlornly down at her lap and sighed. With reluctance, likely due to pride, she inched closer to Sea Hawk again.

She didn't even need to ask him to hold her again. He did so without hesitation. His arms wrapped tenderly around her form, every movement on his part done with patient deliberation.

"I get them too," Sea Hawk said.

Mermista frowned, shifting so she could see his eyes. "You get what?"

"Nightmares," he clarified. "I get them. It's not just you." His voice was soft. He felt her tense in his arms.

Looking down at her, he saw the horror in her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but didn't say a word. She felt as though she couldn't get a word out for the life of her. Her throat was suddenly far too dry, and as shock coursed unpleasantly through her veins, she waited for him to say more.

Sea Hawk bit his lip, brows furrowed in distress. "I don't get them as often as you get yours, but they're there sometimes. Often enough that it's a pain." He chuckled halfheartedly.

Mermista's expression didn't change.

"They're not nightmares about being chipped. I wasn't chipped. I didn't experience what you did," he cleared his throat. "But they are about the war. They're always about the war."

"What-" Mermista coughed, tone scratchy. "What exactly about the war?"

"What exactly are they about? Well, just war things, like I said. Fighting, all of that," Sea Hawk waved a hand dismissively. 

"Sea Hawk. Tell me." Mermista's voice caught in her throat. "Please."

Sea Hawk lowered his gaze. 

The silence was deafening. Mermista felt her heart pounding, blood pulsing hotly through her veins in the most unpleasant way. Adrenaline was not her friend. Nothing about this situation was okay.

“Please!” She cried.

Sea Hawk flinched so slightly that she didn’t notice in her distress. 

"Sometimes I have nightmares about you being chipped," he faintly relented. "About you attacking me. And I know you won't do that again, I know it wasn't really you. I'm well aware, I promise! I don't blame you for any of it either, please don't think I do. It's just hard. I can't exactly control my dreams. I wish I could. But sometimes I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I'm dreaming is you with green eyes and I try to reason with you, I swear, I try so hard to reason with you every time, but it doesn't work. You attack, and I can't do anything. I can't hurt you, so I always try to run. But you catch me. Every single time. You catch me and you hurt me and I spend the whole time crying for you to stop. I tell you to stop, I beg, and it's not your fault but it still scares me and-"

Sea Hawk broke off abruptly. He was out of breath. Inhaling deeply, he forced himself to look at Mermista. 

The longer he had spent speaking, the louder his voice had gotten, rising in hysteria from the memories and fears his nightmares embodied so vividly.

Mermista stared at him, eyes wide and brimming with unshed tears.

"Mermista," Sea Hawk started, voice shaking.

Before he could say anything else, she had her arms wrapped around him as tightly as could be.

"I will never hurt you. Never again. I'm sorry," she whispered fiercely. 

"It wasn't you hurting me before, not really. You don't ever have to apologize," Sea Hawk said.

"Shh. Stop. Just, like, let me apologize. I did do those things during the war. It was my body attacking you, wasn't it?" 

"Yes. It was your body. And your body was under control of Horde Prime, I might add," Sea Hawk said. He was hugging her back, more attuned to reality thanks to her strong, loving embrace. "But it wasn't your heart. That's what matters."

Mermista buried her face in the crook of his neck with a groan.

"That's so mushy," she whined.

"Maybe. But it's true," Sea Hawk allowed himself a small chuckle.

They stayed like that for a while. Sea Hawk was soothed by the sound of Mermista's soft breathing, and he wondered if she had fallen asleep again. 

Yet she stirred after a few minutes, pulling back enough so that she could look at him with her wearied eyes.

"Why are you still here? Why do you help me with my nightmares when you have your own?" Mermista asked him, her voice hushed.

Sea Hawk answered without a touch of doubt.

"Because I love you, dearest."

**Author's Note:**

> I love Mermista and Sea Hawk and really enjoyed exploring their characters like this! If you have an idea for another Mermista/Sea Hawk fic, drop a comment to let me know and I may be inspired ♡


End file.
